Scene One: A woman walks out of trendy salon basking in the relaxation of being pampered for two hours. Just as the relaxation is going to her head, the woman is approached by an earnest young man.
Earnest Young Man: Do you know what “the gospel” means?
Woman: (The woman answers but looks unsure as to where the conversation will go) Yes…?
Earnest Young Man: It means the good news. (The Earnest Young Man hands the woman a card.) Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
Earnest Young Man: That’s awesome! And do you believe the only way back to God is through Jesus Christ?
Earnest Young Man: And do you believe that all those who do not believe in Jesus Christ will be condemned to hell and suffer eternal torture? (Earnest Young Man is becoming orgasmic with anticipation.)
Earnest Young Man: (Looking completely crestfallen.) But that is in the scriptures, how can you not believe that?
Woman: Because I believe in a God of love and mercy. I do not believe in a god that gets pleasure from the suffering of his children.
Earnest Young Man: And who taught you that?
Woman: Nobody needed to teach me that (taking umbrage with the young man’s patronizing tone). I have felt the truthfulness of God’s love for myself. But if you’re wondering if I belong to a church, yes, I am a Mormon.
Earnest Young Man: Oh really? (Looking as if he has just been introduced to Satan himself). Do you know that Mormons aren’t Christian?
Woman: I know that you believe that and I am ok with that. I also know that, regardless of what you think or believe, I am a Christian.
Earnest Young Man: I know you are not a Christian because you do not believe in the word of God. The scriptures tell us that we are all born enemies to God and none of us is good. Because of this, God will pour out his wrath on the day of judgement, which is coming! God provided Jesus Christ to be the propitiation for our sins. Do you know what propitiation means (using patronizing tone again)? The reason Jesus is our propitiation is that while he was hanging on the tree, God poured out his wrath and fury on His son. It pleased God to crush His son and to unleash His justice on Christ. Jesus is now sitting on the right hand of God until He returns with vengeance on all who disobeyed the gospel. That is scripture!
Woman: That is your interpretation of Scripture. I have a different interpretation. I have a knowledge of God’s goodness, God’s love and mercy. You cannot convince me that it is wrong. I am glad you have a faith that brings you peace, my faith brings me peace as well. Now I have to get home to my babies.
Earnest Young Man: Are you leading them down the road of hell too?
(The woman rolls her eyes and smiles to herself as she walks away.)
End of Scene
Scene Two: The woman walks through the door to her home and is greeted by her husband. He looks at her adoringly and lovingly touches her hair to examine the new cut.
Husband: Your hair looks great! Did the stylist thin it out?
Woman: Yes, she told me that I have more hair than anyone she has ever seen.
Husband: Yeah, it was kind of like a red, furry monster was growing out of your head and eating your face. Is that why it took so long?
Woman: (the woman ignores her husband’s quip about her previous hairstyle.) No, I was getting condemned to hell by a street preacher. (The woman hands her husband the card.)
Husband: Oh, fun! (Husband looks at the card.) This is completely incomprehensible. It’s worse than a legal document.
(He flips the card over.) Hmmm, ironic that they misspelled “completely”.
Woman: (Woman takes the card from her husband and looks at it intently.) I guess God’s wrath is only nine-tenths satisfied.
End of Scene